When I was younger I was annoyingly out spoken. I was always
pointing out others lies and called them on their crap. I was nowhere near
staying in a kids place nor a teenager's place. However I kept it real always,
even when came to me. At the age of 16 I decided to go to church and I believe
this is where I lost my voice. I'm not church bashing nor am I saying it’s
their fault. But, when you are broken
and thinking something is wrong with you, thinking that all this stuff couldn't
possible happen to you before the age of 16, and it must be something you’re
doing. You began to try to bury the person you were created to be, thinking god
couldn't possible love me nor want me as is. You began to suppress and try to
mold in to something else, and someone else, you don’t want to be who you are. You
really don’t know who you are. At that time, I lost my voice trying to find a
different tone. Spiraling in and out of depression,
constantly being broken down by someone who thought they were helping, but in
reality adding to my push to suppress me and become something else.
Years pass
and I had become someone who let people walk all over them and did whatever
someone told me to do. In the back of my mind, wanting to tell them to go
somewhere and get out of my face. I submitted, because I did want to be that
girl again. That girl who had an attitude
and rude, hard and bold. I was still broken, not realizing, that it was exactly
who I am. The Real me. Now an adult and
the light came on one day and I realize that everything I tried to get away
from and suppress was exactly who I am. Out spoken and brutally honest. Loving
and nurturing, it sounds like a contradiction but it’s who I am. I began to
love my self and understand he made me that way for a reason. We began to dig
her up, clean her up, and put back together any broken pieces shattered by
others and myself. I am finding my voice, day by day, post by post. Now I speak how I feel in wisdom, and I try
my best to think before I speak. I also realize I don’t have to say everything
and I know when to shut my mouth. Things that only come with maturity. I
encourage you to find your voice if you lost or suppressed it. Not for any one else
but for yourself. It will free a piece of your identity, and empower you in
many ways. Don’t let anyone shut you up,
don’t let anyone tell you that what you have to say is not important. Don’t let anyone, not even yourself. Make you
feel like you can’t express yourself, someone will listen. Your voice matters, Speak out!
Thank
You
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